A couple of weeks ago my Dad showed up to my work unexpected. I thought I forgot us meeting for dinner or something but I was wrong. My grandmother (my stepdad, John's mom) had a heart attack and was in the hospital. I left work to go to the hospital to be with my family. I expected to get there and see her in a hospital bed talking with my mom and stepdad but I was so wrong. I walked into this huge trauma room in the ER where my mom, stepdad, and his siblings were sitting to one side while their mother was laying flat on a hospital bed hooked up to a bunch of machines. I was shocked at how wrong I was. She wasn't even conscious and wasn't even breathing on her own.
Later talking with my mom I got more details of what happened. Marie, my grandmother, had went into cardiac arrest meaning her heart stopped beating. My mom gave her CPR at Marie's house and was able to bring her back and they had to do it again on the way to the hospital. There was a certain time line for when Marie should be awake and able to do things herself but she never came out of the state she was in. They did some tests and it was determined that she lost too much neurological activity when she stopped breathing. Since she was not breathing a couple of times her brain lost oxygen and therefore suffered damage on both sides. She was basically a vegetable. After a certain number of days of being hooked up to the breathing machine you have to be disconnected so you don't get a virus.
They made the decision to take her off the machine and within 30 minutes she was gone. As you can imagine this whole process was horrible on the family and no one was handling it well. How could they when they just lost their mother? I would be a mess as well. Marie had a beautiful funeral service on the following Saturday where a lot of people showed up to pay their final respects.
You would think that after losing their last living parent you would lean on your family for support but that's not what happened, in fact things got ugly. The next day while all the siblings and spouses were all in the area (some lived hours away) they decided to go through the will and talk about what's next. John found the will and showed it to everyone. They were not happy because John was the executor of the estate and was also to inherit the house. His sisters got ugly and talked trash about John when he got up from the table. My mom was there and stood up for John so his sisters then turned on my mother calling her horrible things and getting in her face.
It was ugly. My mother was so upset as well as my stepdad. The sisters even went so far as refusing to be in the house if my mom was in it, mind you it was freezing outside. I know emotions are high when something like this happens but it was all uncalled for and extremely rude. The family is now split when they should be leaning on each other for support not tearing others apart.
This isn't the first time I have seen this happen. Three years ago my dad's grandmother died and it also got ugly. One of the daughters was stealing things from the house saying they were hers and she yelled at my grandmother. In fact they aren't on speaking terms and it's three years later. I know emotions are high when you lose someone so close but don't take it out on your siblings they are all you have left. It's stupid for families to split over materialistic things. You lost a parent now is when you need to hold on to the family you have left. Can't we all get along??
No comments:
Post a Comment