This past week I have been in Georgia with my family for the funeral of my great grandmother Letty Juanita Melton Stewart, 91, who died on November 30, 2014. Everyone called her Juanita except for her husband. I had not seen her in a while but when I did see her last she did not remember me or anyone else in the room. For about seven years she had been dealing with dementia and no longer knew anyone including her two sons who often visited her. It's hard to have a family member go through that but now she is in Heaven and has her memory back. Her husband Clifford died a long time ago. I was very young and don't remember exactly the date. I'm guessing Clifford welcomed Juanita with a big hug and kiss.
The past week has been a roller coaster of emotion. It had some really low points and some really high points. Funerals tend to turn into family reunions and I saw a lot of family I hadn't seen since I was really young. I even met people who knew me and I had no idea who they were. It was great to reconnect and look through old photos of everyone. Juanita would have loved her funeral since it was a great celebration of her life. Don't get me wrong there was a lot of crying but also a lot of laughing at old memories.
Funerals in the South are a bit different than funerals in the North. The funeral home was set up with a giant kitchen with a bunch of tables, fridges, and a shelf for food. People brought in a ton of food throughout the day. It was nice since for the viewing you literally were there all day. For my great grandfathers funeral I was told that it lasted three days! Apparently it's also an Irish thing which my family is. Juanita's lasted only two.
There was a lot of cool/interesting things that happened as well. One being that my aunt had accidentally booked a room on the wrong floor of the hotel than the rest of us. After one night she moved rooms to our floor. She opened the door and a gecko crawled behind the mirror in the room. Of course there was some freaking out about a gecko being in a hotel room but it became cool/interesting when we remembered Juanita. She use to have a gecko who lived under her stairs in her back yard. As soon as anyone stepped on the step it came out to see who was there then went back under. Juanita's spirit was with us.
Another incident being that we always go to this one restaurant any time any of us go to GA. It's this small Southern place called Bea's. I have been going there for as long as I can remember. After Juanita was buried on Wednesday we went there to eat and the waiter mentioned that this was the last week they were going to be open then they close for a month. My grandmother said that she (Juanita) knew she wouldn't make it to next year so she left us sooner so we could eat at our favorite restaurant we've been going to for years. It's quite possible.
The last thing that was cool/interesting is that when the funeral precession was driving to the cemetery people on the road pulled over for us and stopped! It was insane I have never seen that happen before. One guy was working on a roof and he saw us coming and stopped working, stood up, and took his hat off while we all drove by. I think that is such an amazing thing to see and really respectful. In NJ people don't even pull over for emergency vehicles so it was great to see.
This has been a long post and I'm sorry about that. I just want to leave you with two things. An old picture of my sister and I with our great grandparents and also a poem that was read at the service called The Dash by Linda Ellis. If you have not read it please do it's beautiful and something to consider. If you have read it, reread it and remind yourself. Thank you!
Juanita and Clifford in the back. Me and my sister in the front.
The Dashby Linda Ellis copyright 1996
I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.
He noted that first came the date of birth
and spoke the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
that they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.
So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?
